It Is Purple Haze
Posted by Hayley Harisse on Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Wow am I late with this one...
(The title is a Genesis reference, by the way)
So recently (like, nearly a month ago, sorry about the delay) I've been thinking about the twin-personality thing.
In the past I've had doubts about it. In all the cases I remember, the names were different, but the people were basically the same. When I had doubts before, it would result in me becoming just one person for a few days, then I'd go back to being two people. Sometimes that would result in another name turning up, and I'd have the new person and the person who survived the last moment of doubt. Sometimes the person who went would come back. Either way, I'd go to being one person, then return to being two people. I've had to deal with this going on in my head for years, I can't remember how many, it was definitely happening during most of school.
My imagination never liked staying in my head. It took a lot longer for me to clearly see the difference between imagination and reality than it does for most people, and I think my imagination stayed fairly active in my head after I started to see the line. For a year or two, there were quite a few people in here (I think seven was the most). Eventually it went down to two and sometimes three, and then just two.
I don't think I ever really wanted to leave the past behind. I always loved nostalgia. I always loved remembering things; life before primary school, old characters my siblings created, being entirely incapable of completing any old Sonic game in a day. There's a castle in Mario 3 with lots of doors in, and you have to go through the sixth one.
Recently (like, nearly a month ago, sorry about the delay) I started looking at who Richard was. What he was made up of. I remembered myself. I remembered everything I used to be, everything I have been. Things I hated, things I liked, but all of which were things I no longer am. Richard was everything about me I never wanted to leave behind. Everything I wanted to keep from a person I just am not anymore (I think "am't" should be a word, it would come in handy at times like these).
I wasn't expecting Richard Artwright to come back a few days later, but it occurred to me maybe about a week afterwards that this is the first time I've become one person and actually stayed one person.
So I'm just Hayley Harisse now, I'm actually female, and I've got another post on the way soon (a considerably shorter post, so maybe less-than-an-hour soon).
(The title is a Genesis reference, by the way)
So recently (like, nearly a month ago, sorry about the delay) I've been thinking about the twin-personality thing.
In the past I've had doubts about it. In all the cases I remember, the names were different, but the people were basically the same. When I had doubts before, it would result in me becoming just one person for a few days, then I'd go back to being two people. Sometimes that would result in another name turning up, and I'd have the new person and the person who survived the last moment of doubt. Sometimes the person who went would come back. Either way, I'd go to being one person, then return to being two people. I've had to deal with this going on in my head for years, I can't remember how many, it was definitely happening during most of school.
My imagination never liked staying in my head. It took a lot longer for me to clearly see the difference between imagination and reality than it does for most people, and I think my imagination stayed fairly active in my head after I started to see the line. For a year or two, there were quite a few people in here (I think seven was the most). Eventually it went down to two and sometimes three, and then just two.
I don't think I ever really wanted to leave the past behind. I always loved nostalgia. I always loved remembering things; life before primary school, old characters my siblings created, being entirely incapable of completing any old Sonic game in a day. There's a castle in Mario 3 with lots of doors in, and you have to go through the sixth one.
Recently (like, nearly a month ago, sorry about the delay) I started looking at who Richard was. What he was made up of. I remembered myself. I remembered everything I used to be, everything I have been. Things I hated, things I liked, but all of which were things I no longer am. Richard was everything about me I never wanted to leave behind. Everything I wanted to keep from a person I just am not anymore (I think "am't" should be a word, it would come in handy at times like these).
I wasn't expecting Richard Artwright to come back a few days later, but it occurred to me maybe about a week afterwards that this is the first time I've become one person and actually stayed one person.
So I'm just Hayley Harisse now, I'm actually female, and I've got another post on the way soon (a considerably shorter post, so maybe less-than-an-hour soon).